A Chinese Prince in New Orleans
by AgiVega
Summary: Dr. Facilier's voodoo magic goes wrong and Lawrence the valet finds himself at Waterloo in 1815. In the meantime Captain William Laurence ends up in New Orleans in 1912... and he's not completely human any more.
1. It's Reality, Face It!

**A/N: Am I the only Temeraire fan who, upon first hearing Naveen address his ugly, monkey-like valet 'Lawrence' groaned, _"Lawrence? Are you serious?"_ **

**I mentioned this on deviantart and a fellow deviant, _whitelyte_ said, "CROSSOVER!", and I replied, "oh, okay!" So here it is, my first crossover, dedicated to whitelyte. :)**

For those who don't know me yet: English isn't my native language, therefore grammar mistakes might occur, even though I have a brilliant British beta, Michael (much thanks for your help again, Michael!). I haven't seen TPatF in English only in Hungarian, and I must admit that trying to write Tiana's South American English gave me a headache. Michael tried to help me with it, but since neither of us are from the USA, we can't be a hundred percent sure we got SAE all right.

**Disclaimer:** The Princess and the Frog belongs to Disney. Temeraire belongs to Naomi Novik. I'm just fooling around with these two universes. :)

Now, let's get started!

**A Chinese Prince in New Orleans**

**Chapter 1**

**It's Reality, Face It!**

_Dr. Faciler's voodoo emporium, New Orleans, 1912_

For those who don't know him, let me introduce Dr. Facilier, and let me do it in the past tense – in a minute you will understand why.

So, Dr. Facilier was a mad magician who had taken it into his ugly, Jafar-look-alike head to rule over the city of New Orleans.

At the beginning of our story, this mad magician was deeply immersed in working his voodoo magic on Naveen, the prince of Maldonia, and his valet, Lawrence, both of whom he had evilly tricked. Those unfortunate souls had absolutely no idea that they were mere puppets in the hands of our mad magician who, by the way, also liked to give himself formidable nicknames – or at least nicknames _he_ thought formidable.

Years earlier Dr. Facilier had spent weeks and weeks to come up with a decent nickname, but eventually he had decided that 'The Dark Lord' sounded boring, not to mention that it was already taken by a certain someone in a galaxy far, far away. Dr. Facilier was by no means a courageous man – he knew that the Sith wielded power just as dangerous as his own voodoo magic. The Sith were definitely not to be crossed. Therefore Dr. Facilier had chosen to be called 'He Who Has a Formidable Big Gap Between His Front Teeth'. When one of his demon friends died of laughter upon hearing his self-chosen nickname, Dr. Facilier fumed a bit, then chose another title, 'The Shadowman'.

Yes, 'The Shadowman' was definitely a worthy nickname for someone as powerful and evil as him – thought he. But he was gravely mistaken, for he was not nearly as talented a magician as he believed himself to be, and all of his demon friends laughed behind his back at his plans of ruling New Orleans. But Dr. Facilier was too dumb to notice that. Our sorcerer thought himself cunning and could not imagine that anything could go wrong with his current little magic experiment. Again, he was completely wrong.

Had Dr. Facilier been a proper voodoo magician, he need not have written down the names of his 'puppets' in order to enchant them, but he was a bungler, only he would never have admitted that to himself. Or to anyone else.

Currently our dumb and bungling magician was holding a paper in his hands, murmuring in himself the names he had written down on it – the names of Naveen and Lawrence.

Have I mentioned that Dr. Facilier was quite bad at spelling too? Well, he was. That was why the paper he was clutching held the names 'Naveen' and 'Laurence'. Had he had enough sense to question Prince Naveen's servant how exactly he spelled his name, he would not have got himself in trouble. But this way he did. Problem was, it was not only he who got in trouble due to his bungling sorcery.

"_Lawrence into Naveen, Naveen into a frog. Lawrence into Naveen, Naveen into a frog. Lawrence into Naveen, Naveen into a frog,_" he murmured without really letting out a sound, only his lips were moving, forming the silent words, again and again and again.

Just when the prince and his servant were beginning to get bored and planning to excuse themselves and leave, a red comet swept out of Dr. Facilier's index finger, flitted across the room, twirled around the astonished Naveen, swirled around the dumbfounded Lawrence, then hit Dr. Facilier in the chest.

"Damn," was all The Shadowman could utter before he was reduced to a pretty heap of ash on the floor.

His demon friends were rolling on the floor laughing.

The only remaining flesh and blood person in the room did not laugh. He had no reason to.

oOo

_The balcony of the La Bouff residence, a few hours later_

Tiana heaved a sigh. Life was so damn unfair! The fact that she was a woman, and a black woman at that, did not mean she had no right to buy the old mill and make her dreams come true! Her tiny hands clenched into fists, imagining that she was squeezing the necks of those blasted realtors.

Suddenly her father's gentle face appeared before her eyes, and Tiana snapped out of her reveries. The realtors in her imagination gasped as she finally released them, but so did she upon noticing an ugly little frog sitting on the balustrade. How on earth could a frog get so high? She bent over the balustrade and glanced down into the depth below her friend Charlotte's balcony. There was no way the frog could have climbed up here, especially because it was nothing but a mindless animal.

Perhaps she had only imagined the frog like she had imagined choking the realtors. Yes, Tiana was quite sure she had just imagined it, therefore she refused to look in the frog's direction – _if_ there was a frog at all – and lifted her eyes to the starry sky instead. The Evening Star twinkled merrily above, filling her soul with hope and some warm and fuzzy feeling she had not felt since her father died.

"Please," she muttered, "I want that restaurant. Please, please, please!"

"Give up, sweetie, it's only a star, it won't hear you," came a voice from her right.

Tiana turned around, her eyes searching for the source of the voice, but there was no one but the ugly little frog on the balustrade. She made a grimace. She was indeed imagining things… It must be the stress, she concluded. The stress of having been turned down by the realtors, damn them!

She drew herself up like the princess she was dressed up as and elegantly straightened the tiara on her head, intending to march back into Charlotte's room.

"Forgive my boldness, dear lady, but I feel the need to point out that your dress is very indecent," came another voice from nowhere, and Tiana once again doubled back, desperate to spot the speaker.

"Indecent? Eh," said the first voice, just as disembodied as the second, only a little younger, more boyish. "She's pretty damn hot in that dress, I'd say."

"Hot? Excuse me, sir, but only whores wear dresses that do not cover their shoulders," came the other, slightly deeper voice.

"_Whores_?" Tiana snapped, her eyes racing around the balcony in vain. There was no man in sight who could have addressed her – but perhaps it was better, for if the speaker had been a real man and not a figment of her imagination, she would very likely have broken his nose for the insult. "Who are you? Show yourself!"

"I am down here, dear lady, and pray do not be angry, I did not intend to offend you, I only found your clothes most unusual," said the deeper male voice again.

"Unusual? That's quite a common ball dress and very hot indeed," replied the younger voice.

Tiana was close to tearing her hair, and even closer to going mad. Invisible men were talking to her, insulting her, asking for her forgiveness, praising and criticising the princess costume Charlotte had lent to her… "What the hell is happenin' here? Who are you?" she shouted.

"I am Prince Naveen, honey," came the younger male voice, "but I have lost my beautiful body. A shame, because you can't see it and admire it."

"Prince Naveen?" Tiana frowned. "Ain't that the prince the newspapers wrote about? Eh," she waved her hand. "The stress is indeed gettin' to me, I'm talking to someone I never seen and don't see even now!"

"Of course you don't see me, as I have lost my body, haven't I just told you?" the young male voice said, sounding slightly miffed.

"Of course, you're a ghost prince and this frog here will surely turn into another prince if I kiss it," Tiana snorted.

"Well… I seriously doubt that," the frog replied.

Tiana's eyes widened. There was no mistake this time, she had seen it. The _frog_ had replied.

_No,_ she shook her head. That was completely out of the question! Such things only happened in Charlotte's fairy tale books, not in reality!

"Yeah, I too doubt your kiss would turn him back into a prince," came the younger male voice, "because this guy here isn't a prince in the first place."

"I beg to differ, sir," the frog said impassively. "The Chinese Emperor has formally adopted me, therefore I am a prince. From a certain point of view."

Tiana decided it was time to scream.

oOo

_Waterloo, 18__th__ June, 1815_

"Honestly, I don't understand what old Boney's waiting for," an irritated voice spoke up to his right. "It's nearly ten, we're getting bored here."

"Oh, I bet he's chickened out," a fierce female voice replied. "Let us not wait for him to attack, let us attack first, Granby!"

"Patience, Iskierka, please!"

Lawrence blinked several times to chase the evil little sparks still blurring his vision.

"Hey, what happened to Laurence?" someone shrieked right behind his back – an exasperated female voice.

"Well, thank you for your question, I'm still in one piece," Lawrence muttered and dusted his suit, still feeling quite disoriented. He craned his neck a bit to look at the source of the previous voice and was encountered with a pair of grey eyes gleaming with fury.

"I have asked you about Laurence, our captain," the woman said, her tone downright threatening. The pistol she was pointing at him looked even more threatening.

"Wait, wait, fair lady, and point that thing elsewhere!" Lawrence begged.

"I will point it elsewhere once you have told me what you have done to Laurence!" she snapped.

"But _I am_ Lawrence," the valet stammered. You usually need to stammer if you have a pistol pressed up to your throat.

"Laurence? _You_?" the woman laughed coldly. "Laurence is tall and handsome, while you…"

"…you look like a monkey," a deep voice said, its strength and resonance suggesting that it was coming from someone of considerable size.

Lawrence slowly turned his head, and the first thing he spotted on his right (how on earth had he missed it a few seconds ago?) was an enormous red dragon with formidable yellow eyes, giving him a curious look. Steam was issuing from its back at several places. Beyond it there were dragons as far as the eye could reach, and on them and around them there were soldiers running, hanging, climbing or loading their weapons. They were all wearing funny bottle-green uniforms. There was no doubt – Lawrence was at the middle of a battlefield, in the middle of an army about to give battle.

The valet laughed nervously and loosened his tie. Surely that voodoo magician must be playing a trick on him… this could not possibly be real! It was surely a nightmare, a hallucination, something he would soon awaken from…

"So," the earlier deep and resonant voice spoke up again, sounding horribly and frighteningly close. A shiver ran down Lawrence's spine as he realised that the resonance had partly come from under his sizable bottom, meaning he was sitting on the source of that intimidating voice.

Sweating profusely, he turned fully back, away from the girl pointing her pistol at him from behind, only to be faced with something much, much more frightening: a black dragon head with a pair of dark blue eyes glinting with annoyance and teeth bared at him menacingly – each tooth the size of a grown man's forearm, not to mention razor sharp.

"So," the dragon repeated, "what the hell have you done with my Laurence?"

Lawrence decided it was time to faint.

oOo

_The La Bouff residence, 1912_

"No, no, no, this can't be happening to me!" Tiana shouted as she ran back into Charlotte's room. "There ain't no speakin' frogs, frogs simply DO NOT SPEAK!"

"Well, that is because I am not a frog," came the deeper male voice from the balcony, and a series of funny squelching noises indicated that the amphibian was hopping closer, following the girl into the room. "Let me introduce myself. I am Captain William Laurence of His Majesty's Aerial Corps. Recently reinstated and at your service, my lady. Please call me Laurence."

After she had run into the room, Tiana turned her back on the frog. Currently she was staring at the floral patterns of the wallpaper, determined not to look in the amphibian's direction. She would be risking her sanity if it turned out that the frog was still there, that it was _real_ in the first place…

"See? Now you know both of us," the other, younger male voice spoke up, only not from behind her back. It sounded as though the young man – if he existed at all – had been standing right before her, between her and the flower-patterned wall, only a few inches away. Tiana could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her cheeks… it was almost exciting… There was only one tiny problem: there was absolutely no one whose breath she could have felt. She was staring at thin air.

"Both of you?!" she gasped and whirled around, away from the source of the disembodied voice. If she had to choose between two evils, she would choose the smaller, and talking to a frog was still somewhat more realistic and less insane than talking to thin air, wasn't it?

Her glance fell upon the little frog currently seated on Charlotte's vanity. Seeing that she was finally giving him attention, the frog rose to his hind legs and bowed slightly as only a knight in shining armour would. "Yes, gentle lady, you know both of our names, but we have not had the pleasure of learning yours."

"Honestly, you're talking as though you had just stepped out of a history book. Or one of Shakespeare's plays. You sound much more prince-like than… him," Tiana grimaced, jabbing her thumb in the direction the invisible prince had been just a few seconds before.

"Are you claiming that this formally adopted prince who is a mere captain is more prince-like than me?" the younger male voice huffed. "Let me remind you that I am Prince Naveen, a prince by blood, and my blood is bluer than any you could possibly imagine!"

The frog on the vanity rolled his eyes. "For your information, sir, I have a little blueness in my blood too. My father's family are of Plantagenet descent and my father is the eleventh Earl of Allendale."

"Hah, I still win! I'm a born prince!"

Both Tiana and the frog rolled their eyes at this.

"Don't say you're not impressed by it, honey," Prince Naveen's voice carried on. "Every girl is impressed by me!"

"I would probably be impressed, if one, you weren't as taken with yourself as you are, and two, you were at least visible. But this way I'm certain I'm just imaginin' this whole madness," Tiana threw up her hands in defeat. "Neither of you are real. God, I sure hope no one ever finds out I'm talkin' to a frog and a ghost at the same time!"

"But that is exactly what we have tried to explain to you, fair lady," the amphibian, who was allegedly called a Captain Laurence, said plainly. "I am no frog, I am a man, and so is our invisible prince. It all comes down to some nasty magic."

"Magic?" Tiana arched an eyebrow at him. "Honestly… do you think I'm five years old?"

"No, you have too big boobs for that, you look like a grown woman," Prince Naveen opined.

The frog sighed. "Pray do not listen to him, dear lady. If he is indeed royalty, he should be ashamed of his choice of words. He talks like a common seaman."

"I might talk like a common seaman, but you, my friend, called her a whore," Naveen pointed out.

"…for which I can never excuse myself enough," Laurence bowed once again. "I fear I am a little lost in your world and unfamiliar with your customs and fashion."

"What do you mean, you're lost in… _our world_?" Tiana frowned.

"I am not from this world, gentle lady," Laurence replied. "Or at least… not from this age."

"Told you, honey, it's magic," said Naveen.

Tiana ignored the prince's comment. "Then… where… or _when_ are you from?" she asked the frog, knowing that the mere question was ridiculous, but she could not help it, something deep down told her she could trust him. He seemed sincere and more gentleman-like than anyone she had ever met. He seemed so unreal that it simply had to be real.

The amphibian cleared his throat. "I am from Britain, and from about a hundred years earlier than your age. At least if what Prince Naveen has told me on our way here was true and we are currently in 1912. Are we?"

"Y…yes, sure we are. But… what do you mean by 'on our way here'?" Tiana knitted her eyebrows. "Your way from where? And why have you come here in the first place? I mean… why here of all places?"

"Why, why, because I have been invited here by Mr. La Bouff," Naveen replied matter-of-factly.

"Not exactly," Laurence said. "It was I. I wanted to find a high enough place to have a decent view of this city and your balcony seemed a perfect vantage point."

"Yeah, just because he didn't believe me that we were in New Orleans and had to find out for himself," Naveen complained.

"You cannot blame me," came the frog's reply, "everything that has so far happened seems too… unbelievable. At one moment I was sitting on my dragon's back at Waterloo, waiting for the battle to begin…"

"Wait, on your… _what'_s back?" Tiana's eyes widened.

"My dragon, fair lady. Temeraire."

"Oh, quit the fair lady, call me Tiana," the girl waved. "But… a dragon? Are you jokin'?"

"I can assure you I am not, Miss Tiana. And I would gladly tell you everything of His Majesty's Aerial Corps if I were not in a hurry to get back. The battle cannot start without Temeraire!"

"Wait, just wait a minute!" Tiana held up a hand. "You mean, you were peacefully waitin' for the battle of Waterloo to start, when… Hey, wasn't that the battle in which Napoleon was defeated?"

"DEFEATED?!" Laurence gasped. "He was defeated? _At Waterloo_? Oh, thank God!" He ran a green hand across his green brow and his spindly legs trembled as though he were close to collapsing.

Tiana bit into her lower lip. "Perhaps I shouldn't have told you that…?"

"Well… perhaps," Laurence said, still somewhat shakily. "I am glad to know it, but… knowing the future can be dangerous. I would be much obliged if you did not tell me anything else of Britain's history in the next ninety-seven years."

"Dangerous?" Naveen snorted. "Honestly, if I were in your place, I'd ask the girl to tell me everything she knew!"

Laurence gave the source of the disembodied voice as stern a look as a frog could muster. "I would rather not. Knowing the future might urge some to want to stop it from happening, and it could have unforeseeable consequences."

Tiana gave the frog a little smile. "I like the way you think, Laurence. You're real wise."

"The guy must be really old to be wise," Naveen laughed. "Really, how old are you, _Captain _Laurence?"

The frog straightened his back. "I am forty this year. I mean… I was forty in 1815. At this year I am… one hundred and thirty-seven."

"Well, that's old enough to be wise," the prince said, only to get a scolding look from Tiana – as much as she could send someone she didn't see a scolding look.

"Well, you were fixin' to tell me how you got here," she turned back to Laurence. "Please, continue."

"As you wish," the frog nodded. "So, I was sitting on Temeraire's back, waiting for the Duke of Wellington to give us the signal to attack, and then I felt some funny, dizzying, ticklish feeling, and in the next instant I was pulled into a tunnel that practically spat me out in a room. In the next instant I was transformed into a dark-skinned man, but only for a second, I only had time to see that my hands turned darker… then the next moment I was a frog. I can tell you no more than that."

"Well, I can," Naveen added.

"I was certain you'd say that," Tiana sighed. The guy was apparently enamoured with his own voice and could not keep his mouth shut for a single second… "OK, Prince Naveen, speak!"

"So, I was peacefully sitting there in Dr. Facilier's voodoo emporium, waiting for him to turn me into a very rich man, and then _boom!_, someone else ran into my body and shut me out! My beautiful, precious body was taken from me, my soul was cast out of it, and then, when I tried to admire my body from outside, it was suddenly turned into this… this abomination! And I even lost my valet, Lawrence!"

"_Lawrence_?" Laurence and Tiana said in unison.

"Oh, damnation," Laurence cursed. "The name. It's the same."

"Do you think… it has something to do with the backfired magic?" Naveen gasped.

"Quite clearly yes," Tiana said tartly. "But perhaps this Dr. Whoever can change it back?"

"He can't," Naveen sighed. "He's dead. His own magic killed him."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Tiana bit into her lower lip. "No, I'm not sorry for him, but I'm sorry for poor Laurence."

"Only poor Laurence? And me? And me?" Naveen asked almost angrily.

"Well… perhaps. A little," Tiana shrugged. "So, if the wizard is dead, what can be done?"

"I think you should kiss him," replied the prince. "You know, like in the fairy tale…?"

"Yeah, sure," the girl rolled her eyes.

"What fairy tale?" Laurence blinked.

"Haven't you heard of the Brothers Grimm?"

"No," Laurence shook his froggy head. "Not really. There are not many libraries in Australia…"

"Australia?" Tiana frowned. "But haven't you said you were from Britain?"

"I… ah… never mind," Laurence waved and his tiny green shoulders sagged in defeat. He looked so vulnerable and pitiable that Tiana's heart went out to him. For a fleeting moment she felt an urge to gather him into her arms and give him a warm and friendly hug. Then she reminded herself that he was a frog, a _slimy_ frog, even if he had a British nobleman's spirit trapped inside the amphibian body.

"Well, the Brothers Grimm published a fairy tale book, and one of their tales was the Frog Prince," Naveen began in his most annoying know-it-all style. "In some versions of the story a princess has to kiss the frog to transform him back into a human. Hey, why don't you ask Tiana to kiss you?"

The frog's already bulging eyes bulged even more. "Your highness, you cannot be serious…?"

"But I am! She kisses you, you turn back into a human, and hopefully I will get my body and my servant back!" Naveen explained.

"Hah, as if I would _ever_ kiss a frog," Tiana snorted.

"But… if it turns us back…? Would you not be willing to help us, dear lady?" Laurence said, his voice even more pitiable than his appearance.

"It's Tiana, haven't I told you?" she sighed. "And don't give me that sad puppy look!"

"I am not giving you a sad puppy look," Laurence shook his head, "I expect I look more like a sad frog."

The girl crossed her arms. "All right, all right! Do tell, what do you look like in your human form? Just so that I know what to imagine while my lips touch your ugly green slimy lips…"

"It's mucus, for your information," Naveen chimed in. "Not slime, mucus."

"Whatever," Tiana waved impatiently. "So, how shall I imagine you, Laurence?"

The frog drew himself up and clasped his hands behind his back. "Well, I am quite tall with broad shoulders. My hair is blond and I wear it in a queue. My eyes are blue. Some say I am somewhat handsome…"

Naveen chortled in the background. "Not stuck-up at all, eh?"

The frog sent the invisible prince a condescending look. "Miss Tiana asked me to describe myself. I only said the truth, sir. In every respect."

"Aha, and you expect us to imagine you looking all peeeerfect," the prince drawled. "Tell us at least one of your flaws, and then we might believe you're telling the truth."

The frog's tiny hands balled into fists, then he took a deep, calming breath and carried on, "I am proud. Possibly more proud than I should be. I am stiff more often than my service requires it. And I am a goddamn sentimental romantic and have a tendency to ruin the lives of everyone I care for. Enough of my flaws, your royal highness?"

"Er… actually, I only expected you to mention a flaw in your appearance…"

"Sure, because only appearances matter to you," Tiana huffed at the source of the prince's voice. "You don't care nothin' for people's feelings, I've heard your parents disowned you because of your extravagant lifestyle… you're a leech on society, Prince Naveen, and you should feel ashamed of yourself!"

For a long moment silence hung in the air – probably Naveen was feeling ashamed, or probably he was searching for a proper retort. Eventually it was Laurence who spoke up, "Well, my back is not exactly pleasant to look at. I was once flogged in Africa."

"In Africa?" Tiana gasped. She could not help but think of all those poor Africans who had been transported to America to be slaves, flogged and tortured in every possible way… At that moment her heart went out to Laurence even more than before. "But… why?" she asked.

"Because I loved my country too much," Laurence replied darkly, and there was something in his eyes – something secretive and something sadder than anything Tiana had ever seen in a man, let alone in a frog.

"Well, I will help you then, so that you can go back to Waterloo and help your country," she said, forcing her voice to sound determined although she felt too touched to be determined. "Come on, pucker up."

A relieved and grateful smile spread on Laurence's green face and he obeyed without a word. As she leaned closer, Tiana closed her eyes, trying to imagine the tall, handsome, blond man who not only spoke but also looked like someone who had just stepped out of a romance novel. Strangely even in her imagination, there was some sadness glinting in his eyes.

Their lips touched, and Tiana felt caught up in a whirlwind that she believed to be the magic turning Laurence back into Laurence and giving Naveen his body and his valet back.

Then she opened her eyes.

She was blinking at Charlotte's vanity, only from a wholly new perspective – the piece of furniture seemed so very tall and Laurence, still in his amphibian form, was blinking back down at her.

"What are you doin' up there, and why am I…?" she began, but as soon as her eyes fell upon a mirror, the words froze in her throat. From the mirror a pretty little female frog was looking back at her – as much as a frog could be called pretty. She was definitely prettier than Laurence, but… _she was a frog!_

Tiana screamed like she had never screamed before, and turned her back on the mirror, hopping, hopping away from it, her heart racing frantically, her mind completely shut down, all she still knew was that she had to flee from this whole nightmare…

...and she hopped over the balustrade. Problem was, there was only bottomless abyss beneath it.

oOo

**A/N: chapter two coming soon. Until then, please, leave a review! :)**


	2. Just Kiss Him Now!

**Chapter 2**

**Just Kiss Him Now!**

Before Naveen could have done anything (not that he, as a ghost, could have done much), Laurence had dived after Tiana.

What was that man thinking of? – Naveen pondered as he watched the two frogs fall and listened to their screaming. Laurence, being slightly bigger and heavier than Tiana, caught up with her in the air and took hold of her, then somehow managed to navigate themselves on top of a bunch of balloons decorating the garden. Some of the balloons burst and the two frogs – still screaming – slid down from the top of a lurid pink one.

Once again, Naveen could not help but admire Laurence's reflexes as the frog caught the string of the lurid pink balloon with his left hand while with his right he was clutching at Tiana's hand. There was no doubt, the man must have been in several dangerous situations and survived all of them. Even his muscles must have been trained in battle, for he pulled up Tiana with an almighty tug so that she too could hold onto the string.

At that moment the lurid pink balloon separated itself from the rest and went whooshing upwards, out of the garden of the La Bouff residence with the two frogs hanging from its string, their little feet dangling above the abyss.That was when Naveen noticed that Laurence was gasping for breath and pressing his left hand to his heart as though it wanted to jump out of his chest.

"Well… that was… the maddest rescuing… I've ever seen," Tiana wheezed, her voice shaky with shock. "Not that I've seen many…"

"I am sorry," Laurence panted, "I have a bit of a hero complex, so I have been told…"

"A bit?" Naveen laughed sarcastically. "Man, you could have killed yourself, what made you jump after her?"

The male frog gave the invisible prince a patronising glance. "Someone had to."

"_Someone had to_?" Naveen echoed his words.

Laurence made a grimace that looked particularly funny on his amphibian face. "I tend to do things because I think someone has to and others are either unwilling or incapable… Why, I am sure you too would have jumped after the lady had you had legs to jump with, would you not, your royal highness?"

Naveen felt his throat close, as much as such a thing was possible without having a body. He was not at all sure he would have done it… on the contrary. He was quite sure he would _not_ have done it. But for some reason he could not find it in his heart to continue mocking Laurence for his stupid heroism, and a tiny part of his soul wished he could own at least a hundredth of the courage this simple captain possessed.

"You're very silent," Tiana perceived, and Naveen was sure she was addressing him, not Laurence. Did he just imagine the disappointed look in her eyes? Either way, he felt ashamed.

"Anyway," Tiana carried on, "thank you for saving me, Laurence."

The male frog gave the female a smile. "You are most welcome. But in the future, please, do not jump down from balconies."

"I'll sure try not to," the girl chuckled, "but you can't blame me, I was scared to death. How could I not be? I've been turned into a frog! That's not how it was supposed to work! My kiss should've changed you back into a man, not made me a frog!"

"That's most curious, indeed," Naveen agreed, "a princess' kiss should have transformed him back…"

"Are you telling me I should've been a princess to make the kiss work?" Tiana's eyes widened.

"Well, of course… why…" Naveen's voice trailed off, "are you not?"

"Of course I'm not!" Tiana snapped. "I'm a waitress!"

"_A waitress_? Then why on earth have you dressed up as a princess?" the prince hissed.

"It was a mardi gras parade, and my dress was a mardi grass costume!" Tiana hissed back.

"Well, I must ask for your forgiveness, fellow-prince Laurence," Naveen said, "had I known she was a waitress, I wouldn't have made you sink so low as to kiss her."

"What?" Tiana's green face turned red with fury and she nearly let go of the string she was holding onto. "Are you asking for _his_ forgiveness, when it was _me_ who got transformed into a frog through his kiss? And do you suddenly consider him a fellow-prince while he's been a mere captain to you so far? Only because I'm a waitress? Shame on you, Naveen!"

"_Prince_ Naveen, if you please," the ghostly voice replied stiffly.

Laurence the frog rolled his eyes. "I cannot believe I am here, floating over a city a hundred years in my future, above funny moving boxes and underdressed women, listening to a frog lady and an invisible prince barking at each other like an old married couple… and all this when a battle is waiting for me back in my own time and Temeraire and… others are getting worried about my absence!"

"For your information, those moving boxes are automobiles," Naveen said, "and we are not behaving like an old married couple! Me, married to a waitress? That is preposterous!"

"Of course it is, because I'd never marry a prince as stuck-up as him!" Tiana retorted.

"I'm not stuck-up!" Naveen protested. "Laurence, tell her that I'm not!"

"Well, you are," came the calm reply.

"And you? You said you were proud too!" the prince reminded him.

"Pride and conceit are different things," Laurence answered. "Pride can both be good and bad, while conceit is always bad."

"But you mentioned your pride among your flaws!" Naveen pressed. "Then it must be something bad in your case too!"

"When your pride goes hand in hand with your honesty, when you feel you need to do something unpleasant because others would not, but you are too proud to run away and hide from the consequences, then… I think… pride is not that bad at all. Sometimes you need to choose between being honest and proud or being a coward… and even if it may hurt me and others too, I would always choose honesty and pride."

"Holy heavens, are you some goddamn philosopher?" Naveen snorted.

"Just because we can't understand the exact meaning behind his words, he might be right," Tiana said. "Actually, I'm quite sure he's right. _He'_s proud. _You'_re stuck-up. And it was time someone actually told you that and deflated your bloated ego!"

Problem was, at that second something else deflated too. "The balloon!"

With an almighty scream the frogs tumbled into the waters below.

oOo

_Waterloo, 18__th__ June, 1815_

It was not often that Temeraire was close to losing his patience, but the current situation definitely belonged to those few occasions. At least an hour had passed since Laurence had been – magically? – exchanged for this short, fat, and ugly man who had claimed he was Laurence and then lost his consciousness. Upon First Lieutenant Emily Roland's orders the crew had dragged the fat man off Temeraire's back and tied him to a tree. Coming around, the fat man had screamed a little, then shut up as soon as Emily had pointed her pistol at his throat again.

For the time being she was still keeping him in check with her gun. "Spill, and don't leave anything out, and then we might spare your life! How have you come here?"

"I… I… I was only sitting in Dr. Facilier's voodoo emporium, waiting for him to help my master, and…"

"Voodoo? What is voodoo?" Emily knitted her eyebrows.

"Well, that is some sort of magic, I think…" the captive gulped.

"Magic? Do we look like fools to you?" Emily snapped, her eyes gleaming with fury. Even Temeraire found her intimidating which was saying something.

"No, Miss, it was magic indeed, otherwise how could I have got here? I am just a valet, completely harmless, a mere victim of that evil man's sorcery…"

Emily's eyes narrowed. "I still don't believe you, but let's play a game and assume that I do. Then tell me, why was it you of all people who got transported here in place of our captain?"

"Well…" the fat man said, sweating even in the shadow of the tree, "didn't you say your captain was called Lawrence?"

"Yes, he is called Laurence…"

"Well, that's my name too," the captive shrugged, as much as he could while tied to a tree.

Temeraire could no longer bear to remain silent. "But even if you _are_ called Laurence, why was it you who landed here? There are hundreds of people in the world called Laurence, then why you? Why not a more handsome Laurence? Or a cleverer one?"

The captive paled upon being addressed by the dragon again. "I… I don't know… perhaps because it was I who was there with the magician?"

"But then why was it _our_ Laurence who got exchanged for you? Why not another Laurence?" Temeraire pressed. "For example, Laurence has two brothers and several nephews, those are all Laurences too… or his father, who is, by the way, a rather unpleasant old man… I would rather have had _him_ disappear than _my_ Laurence!"

The fat man shook his head. "I don't know! I am a poor victim, I only wished to be part of something grand for a change, and look what I got!"

"Well, you _may be_ part of something grand," Granby said. "For your information, we are going to fight with none other than…"

Emily silenced him with a wave of her hand. "Hush, he might be a French spy."

"Do you think he looks like a French spy?" Granby looked dubious. "He looks way too dumb for that."

"Perhaps he's just a talented actor," she opined.

"Still, if he _is_ a French spy, he knows perfectly well who we are up against," Granby shrugged.

"Then we need not talk about it at all," Emily said. "Come on, let's leave him here, apparently we can't get him to talk sense. We are going to interrogate him after the battle. And do it mercilessly," she sent the fat man a cold stare that made him sweat and blanch even more.

"As you wish, Lieutenant Roland," Granby nodded.

"Oh, let me interrogate him!" Iskierka roared. "I could interrogate him better than anyone else… and then kill him!"

An ever-growing blot on the front of the captive's trousers indicated that he had wet himself. Iskierka often had that effect on people.

Emily left the fat man with a sigh of defeat and climbed upon Temeraire's back again.

"You are very pale," the dragon perceived. "Are you feeling sick?"

"Just sick with worry," she grunted. "Pray do not worry about me, worry about the battle."

"And Laurence," Temeraire added.

"Yes," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "And Laurence."

oOo

Tiana decided that this was the day of unpleasant surprises. After her offer had been rejected by the realtors, she got turned into a frog and had had to endure the self-centred gushing of Prince Naveen's ghost. She had twice fallen from a high place, then she had got nearly scared to death by a talking and trumpet-playing alligator who named himself Louis, and mostly recently she had even felt – and acted upon – the urge to eat a bug. How totally yucky was that?

For the time being she and Laurence were seated on the alligator's back, waiting to arrive to a certain Mama Odie, who, according to said alligator, was a voodoo priestess. But at least there was hope. If this Mama Odie could reverse Dr. Facilier's stupid charm, everything could be back to normal before the sun rose.

Laurence next to her was unusually silent but tended to grin at every little silliness that their new friend, Ray, the Cajun firefly happened to pour on them. Apparently he had grown to like the little fellow and so had Tiana.

As for Naveen, after their landing in the bayou he had mostly given up on bragging, and apart from criticising Louis' trumpet-play from time to time, he did not talk much. For some funny reason Tiana was beginning to miss his constant jabbering, even though she did not miss his conceited and condescending remarks.

Finally Louis stopped by a tree whose roots were sticking out of the water and there was a shabby cottage built in its foliage.

"So, is this where Mama Odie lives?" Tiana asked.

"Exactly," Ray nodded. "Come and climb, I'll provide the light."

The girl and the frog-shaped captain climbed the tree with a little difficulty and knocked on the door.

Mama Odie turned out to be short, white-haired and blind, but overall very kind.

"So, you're saying you're a prince by adoption, hmm?" she scratched her jaw after she had listened to their story with unexpected calmness. Tiana was sure that anyone else had long since chased them out of their house with a broom.

"Yes, madam," Laurence replied. "But does that matter at all?"

"Very much, my dear, very much," said Mama Odie. "I fear I can't transform you back, but there's still hope. You must kiss a princess!"

"A princess? But where do I find one?" Laurence pouted. "Surely not here in the swamp!"

"At the mardi gras parade, of course!" Mama Odie laughed.

"But… there are no real princesses there," Tiana objected, "only dressed up princesses like I was!"

"There _is_ a real one," the old woman said firmly, "but even she will lose her princess status once the clock strikes twelve. At midnight."

"Oh, you mean… Charlotte?" Tiana's eyes widened.

"Charlotte? Who is this Charlotte?" Laurence wondered.

"The daughter of Mr. La Bouff, of course," Naveen chimed in, "and the woman I intend to marry for her fortune!"

Tiana felt a nasty little prickling feeling in her heart, but decided to ignore it. If Naveen wanted Charlotte's money, he would get it, she couldn't care less!

"And…?" Laurence blinked, still quite at loss.

"Papa La Bouff is the king of the mardi gras parade," Tiana explained, "so his daughter is currently a princess. We must somehow get back to New Orleans before midnight and get Charlotte to kiss you!"

"Yes, but don't even think of marrying her after you turn back into a human! She's mine," Naveen reminded Laurence.

"I would never think of marrying her, I promise," Laurence replied with a small smile – a smile that was partly dreamy, partly hopeful, partly happy and partly sad. This man – frog – was still a mystery to Tiana, and she had reluctantly accepted that it was going to stay like that for ever. She did not really know why she cared at all that she did not know his secrets (of which he obviously had many), but perhaps it had to do with the fact that she felt he was a kindred spirit. Very unlike Prince Naveen. Then why, O why did she feel drawn to Prince Naveen?

She shook her head in disgust. She liked nice men, the polite-noble-courageous sort, not the irritating braggarts! And still… just imagining the prince marrying Charlotte tore at her soul. Just a minute ago Tiana had sworn to ignore her feelings, but she came to realise that she was not strong enough for denial. But she would not show her weakness, Naveen must not see it! He did not even deserve her feelings, he was a nasty, cowardly man who could not even hold a candle to the chivalrous Laurence!

Then why could she not fancy Laurence instead?

"Well, then, I believe we must catch a ship back to New Orleans," Naveen suggested. "One that arrives there before midnight."

They said their farewells to Mama Odie, thanking her for her advice, and went to hitch a lift on a ship.

"Wow," Laurence commented once they were aboard. "No sails at all. A real, modern steamship! I miss the sails."

"What do sails matter to you, when this little beauty is quicker than any sailing ship has ever been?" Naveen asked, only to be silenced by the wave of Tiana's hand. She had noticed the hurt gleam in Laurence's eyes. "What?" questioned the prince. "Have I said something wrong?"

"Not intentionally," Laurence replied heavily, "but you have just disparaged half of my life."

"Huh?"

"I spent eighteen years on sailing ships, I was even captain of one, the _Reliant_."

"Oh… sorry, I didn't know," Naveen said, sounding unusually insecure. Tiana could easily guess what the young man was thinking: neither she nor Naveen was much older than eighteen, and this frogman next to them had spent as many years at sea as their whole lives so far. (this line sounds funny, Michael, can you help me out?)

"Hey, great costume," someone yelled at them, and Tiana needed a few seconds to realise that Louis had just been congratulated on his appearance. Emboldened by the praise, the alligator pulled out his trumpet (who knows from where? he had no pocket!) and followed the cheering crowd.

"This world is funny," Laurence said as they were sitting on the railing, their spindly little legs dangling above the water. "Funny and almost… frightening. And very unfamiliar. What were those things called on which we landed when we fell from the balcony?"

"Balloons," Tiana replied. "They are made of latex rubber."

"Latex rubber?"

"Ah, you can't have heard of it yet, at least not in the same sense we use it."

"There are many things here I have not heard of yet. Like those… automobes or what… and you know, in my world there are no speaking alligators… or speaking fireflies… or voodoo magicians…"

"But you've got dragons instead," Tiana pointed out.

"Yes, we do," Laurence smiled, his eyes distant as though he were not looking at the starry sky but beyond it, seeing someone only visible to him and no one else. "I only hope Temeraire does not miss me too much…"

"And I hope Evangeline does not miss _me_ too much," Ray added absent-mindedly.

"Evangeline?" asked Laurence and Tiana in unison.

"Yes, my beautiful, shy lover. That's her," Ray pointed upwards, at the Morning Star. "Oh, how I adore her silent brilliance!"

"But that's just a star," Naveen said, and Tiana shuddered as she realised she had forgotten about his presence for a moment.

"Perhaps it is," Ray cocked his ugly little head, "but one can dream, eh?"

"Dreaming is something no one can take from you," Laurence agreed. "In his dreams the cell door opens for the prisoner and the banished returns home. In his dreams the outcast feels no shame and no fear to show his feelings… in his dreams he can be openly happy, for no one tells him he does not deserve it…" His eyes did not leave the Morning Star for a second, and he spoke as though he were a poet… or as though he were talking from experience.

Tiana felt an urge to reach out and take his hand, and Laurence gently returned the squeeze of her fingers.

"Hey, take your eyes off my girl," Ray said after a while, and Laurence finally tore his glance from the sky to look at Tiana instead.

"And take your hands off Tiana too," Naveen added.

"I have not put my hands on her," Laurence sighed, gently slipping his hand from the girl's grip.

"No, _I_ put mine on him," the girl said tartly, but her heart was secretly jumping with excitement – did that mean Naveen was jealous? And did his jealousy mean he liked her? The idea of the prince fancying her practically scared her. For a moment it had filled her inner being with some previously unknown warmth, but the warmth got immediately chased away by the icy coldness of fear. Fear of… what, exactly? She could not have put a finger on it, all she knew was that it was confusing and insensible, it defied all the laws of logic… and yet it existed.

"I… I'll go and find Louis," she hopped up from her perch on the railing, "I'll be back soon." With that she hurried away, not really in search of her alligator friend, rather fleeing from Naveen, and hoping he would not follow her.

o

Naveen stared after Tiana until her tiny green form got reduced into an even tinier pinprick on the corridor, then completely disappeared.

"Are you still here, your royal highness?" Laurence asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"If you were looking for the proper moment to be with her and tell her you liked her… well, that was it."

"But… I don't like her!" Naveen protested.

"Are you sure?" Laurence sent an almost sly look in the direction he had heard the prince's voice coming from.

"Yes! But you… _you_ like her, admit it!" Naveen carried on vehemently.

"I do like her… but not in that way."

"Hah, I knew you were an invert!" Naveen laughed.

The frog hopped to his feet, his eyes gleaming with fury. "If you had a hand to hold a sword, and if I were not restricted by the rules of His Majesty's Aerial Corps, I would challenge you to a duel now, sir. You may be a prince, but not even that gives you the right to insult me like that."

"Hah, look who's talking! What should I say about your calling poor Tiana a whore?"

Laurence rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the railing. "Have I not said a dozen times how sorry I was about that? In our world, a hundred years ago, decent women never wore clothes that did not cover their shoulders, unless they were… well, indecent. Miss Tiana is a perfectly virtuous young lady, and sir, I would be glad if you did not use that against her."

"Why would I?" Naveen asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but something still clenched at his nonexistent stomach.

"You once boasted that every woman was impressed by you," came the reply, strict and cold as though coming from a scolding father. "I have no reason to doubt that what you said was true, I am sure you have had many women in your life, but let me tell you something, your royal highness. The real man is not the one who brags about his conquests."

If Naveen had had a face, he would have grimaced. The captain was right, and everything he had so far said made sense… only it was so hard to admit it! He had long turned on his parents, shouted in his father's face that he was not letting the old man tell him what to do, and now here was this other 'old' man – who, at the age of forty, could have had a son of Naveen's age – telling him what was right and wrong.

"You are not my father to scold me as though I were an insolent child!" he burst out.

"But you're behaving like one," Ray chimed in. "Laurence is wise, though. I bet he has lots of children of his own to know how to treat you, your insolent highness."

Laurence's green lips twitched – perhaps trying to hide a smile, or perhaps in annoyance, Naveen did not know. He was quite startled though when the frogman spoke up, for his voice was laced with sadness again, "I have no children and perhaps never will. The likes of me had better not pass on… well, anything." With that, Laurence rose to his feet. "I beg your pardon, I think I will go and find Tiana and listen to Louis playing. I am sure Temeraire will be delighted to hear that I have been to a world where reptiles played the trumpet…"

Naveen watched the frog go, and his heart, albeit nonexistent, ached for some reason. Perhaps a bit for Laurence who seemed to be carrying a burden he was unwilling to share, perhaps a bit for Tiana who might stay a frog and lose her restaurant dreams if they did not succeed, and a bit – or a lot – for himself as well. For his life was truly pointless, and he had just begun to see it.

oOo

_The La Bouff residence, New Orleans, shortly before midnight_

"Charlotte!"

The blonde girl turned on her heels upon hearing her name, but her eyes scanned the semi-darkness in vain. There were a few colourful lanterns hanging nearby, but she could not see anyone in their light who could have addressed her.

"Charlotte, it's me, Tiana!" came the voice again, only from a rather peculiar direction – from the grass.

Charlotte had never been clever, she was 'blonde' in every possible respect and she was extremely childish too. However, her infantilism was currently advantageous for Tiana, Naveen and Laurence, for Charlotte, at the age of twenty, still believed in fairy tales. Upon spotting the two frogs before her feet, she crouched down, her huge blue eyes wider than ever. "Tia?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"Yes, Lottie, it's me," the smaller frog replied, "and this is Laurence. And these are Ray and Louis."

"Hey, nice costume," Charlotte waved at Louis.

"Thanks," the alligator blushed.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss La Bouff," the larger frog bowed, making Charlotte gasp. These frogs were not only talking but also behaving like humans!

Charlotte felt like clapping and squealing at the idea of her favourite fairy tale turned real, but before she could do so, Tiana carried on, "Naveen… I mean, _Prince_ Naveen is here with us too, only he's invisible."

"Yes, Miss La Bouff, I'm here," came a disembodied voice from nowhere. Now, _that _scared Charlotte. She felt dizzy all of a sudden and lost her balance in her crouching position, so she toppled backwards, temporarily disappearing under a shower of pink skirts and underskirts.

"Oh… I'm sorry," she muttered once she had managed to disentangle herself from the skirts of her ball dress. "Tia… is that… really true?"

"Yes, Lottie, an evil magician has turned us into frogs and taken Naveen's body. You've got to kiss Laurence, or we'll never change back into humans! Please, I'll tell you everything later, we have no time for chatting now!"

Charlotte, who had always been enthusiastic about the idea of kissing frogs in the hope of seeing them turn into princes, made a wry face this time. "Must I? He's uglier than most frogs…"

"I beg you, Miss La Bouff," said Prince Naveen, making both Tiana and Laurence blink in surprise. "Do it, and I will do anything for you!"

"Anything?" Charlotte raised an eyebrow at the spot where she expected the prince to be. "Even marry me and make me a reeeeal princess?"

"Of course!" Naveen said hurriedly.

"Well, I don't know…" Charlotte mused, "men usually only want to marry me for my daddy's money…"

"I will marry you without your money, just do it!" Naveen begged, and Tiana, Laurence, Ray, and Louis gasped in unison.

"Will you sign a declaration that you don't want to put your hands on my money?" Charlotte asked, her arms akimbo.

"Yes, just kiss him already!" Naveen beseeched her. "And promise me one more thing: give Tiana enough money to open her restaurant! That's all I ask of you."

The bigger frog sent an appreciatory smile in the prince's direction. "I'm proud of you, your royal highness."

"Thanks, but… kiss him now!" Naveen shouted.

And Charlotte did. Well, almost did. Just when she yanked Laurence off the grass to lift him to her lips, the clock struck twelve.

"We're late!" Tiana yelled.

"No, not yet!" Charlotte said, and kissed the frog. Again and again and again. By the time she finished kissing him, Laurence was covered in lipstick marks and looked quite shaken and disoriented.

"You're still frogs," Louis perceived.

"Yeah," Tiana hung her head. "We are."

Laurence gently but determinedly peeled Charlotte's fingers off himself and jumped back down on the grass. "Thank you for trying at least, Miss La Bouff. You kiss really… well."

"Oh… thank you." Charlotte sniffed. "I'm so sorry I couldn't help!"

"You could have, had Naveen not wasted our time on bargaining," Tiana snapped.

"I was doing it to help you!" Naveen snapped back.

"But why would a selfish being like you want to help me?" she hissed.

"Because I love you, you ungrateful little toad!" he hissed back.

"I'm not a toad, take that back this instant…" But then Tiana's voice trailed off, and for a long moment she just stared at thin air, as though under a spell. Well, even more under a spell than she already was. Then an unearthly smile spread on her face. "You really love me?"

"Yes," Naveen said sulkily. "But a whole lot of good that does to us… you're a frog, I'm a ghost, we can't even have sex!"

"Well, you said yourself that Evangline was a star, and I'm a firefly," Ray commented. "She and I still love each other and are very happy together, although we cannot touch, either."

Charlotte's eyes were now brimming with tears, and Laurence cleared his throat, "That is possibly the most beautiful declaration of love I have ever heard."

"Hey, before everyone goes sentimental, let me remind you that not everything is lost," Louis said, "let's go back to Mama Odie and ask her if she has another idea… there might be other princesses she could think of…"

"All right," Tiana said, sending in the invisible Naveen's direction a particularly gentle smile. "Let's go back."

"So…" Charlotte asked a little hesitantly, "there's going to be no wedding?"

o

The elderly voodoo priestess shook her head, her wispy white hair flying around her neck. "No, I'm sorry, but there are no real princesses around for you to kiss… you could of course travel abroad and find a royal family, ask one of their daughters for a bit of snogging… but those princesses would be pretty difficult to convince, I'd say. Or you could make a girl a princess _then_ ask her for a kiss."

"Make a girl a princess?" Naveen asked, although he must have known Mama Odie had addressed Laurence, not him.

"But of course, by marrying one," the old woman said matter-of-factly. "You could for example marry Tiana here. I'd be glad to perform the ceremony for you!"

"Er…" Tiana bit into her lower lip, and her eyes involuntarily searched for Naveen, although she knew it was in vain, she would not be able to see him. However, in her mind's eyes he looked disgusted by the idea. Or at least saddened by it. "I… I fear…"

"If that helps, do it," Naveen cut in, gentler than she had expected him to be. "You two could always get a divorce afterwards…"

"I'm afraid that is out of the question, my dears," Mama Odie replied. "You've been cursed in the fairy tale style, so only a 'happily ever after' sort of kiss would break the curse."

"Then we'll stay frogs for ever," Tiana sighed, "because I'm sorry… I could never live happily ever after with you, Laurence."

"Neither could I with you," the captain replied with a sad little smile, "and even if I felt I could, our marriage would still be technically impossible."

"Why?" Ray inquired, his eyes and bottom gleaming with interest.

Laurence sent him a smile somewhat merrier than the previous one, "Because I am married already."

oOo

**A/N: be so kind and grace me with a review!**


	3. Let's Kill Some Frogs!

**A/N: Thanks to **_**LittleHogwartsGirl, T2238**_** and **_**Sandwichfairy**_** for the reviews!**

_**T2238**_**: I feel honoured that you have given this fic a chance, even if you haven't seen the PatF movie. :)**

**Chapter 3**

**Let's Kill Some Frogs!**

"Married?" Naveen was the first to find his voice. "But… but haven't you said you didn't have children and never expected to have any? How is that possible if you're married… unless you and your little wife aren't doing it?"

Laurence made a wry face. "My love life is none of your business, sir."

But Naveen did not let himself be silenced so easily. "Are you having problems getting it up?"

Laurence rolled his big blue bulging eyes. "Thank you for your concern, but I can assure you I have never had any problems of that sort."

"Then how do you explain…?"

"We are being careful, that is all," Laurence said somewhat irritably. "We got married in secret and we have decided to be careful to be able to keep our secret. We do not want anyone to find out… besides my dragon and crewmembers who already know."

Finally Tiana found her voice too, "Neither of you want anyone else to find out, or… only _you_ do?"

Laurence heaved a sigh, but the corner of his mouth twitched, suggesting he might be fighting down the urge to smile. "You have come to know me quite well in these few short hours, Miss Tiana. I must confess it is only me. My wife has tried to convince me that we should let it come to light, but… it is not that easy. I am not afraid of what people will think of me, but… I do fear what they will think of her."

"Why?" Tiana asked, her eyes radiating compassion.

"Because it is not exactly commendable for any woman to get married to someone like me." Laurence paused for a few seconds, then straightened his back and carried on, "Remember when I mentioned I used to live in Australia? Well, I was banished there for treason."

"Treason?" Tiana, Naveen, Ray, Louis and Mama Odie gasped. Louis even let his trumpet drop in shock.

Laurence hung his head. "I had no other choice. The government wanted to spread a dragon disease that would have obliterated the whole of Earth's dragon population within a few years, and only we, the British had the cure. I could not let that happen, so I took the cure to the French, our enemy. Then I gave myself up."

"Oh," Tiana said, and instinctively reached out to gather Laurence into her arms.

"Does that mean," the captain muttered into her neck, "that you do not condemn me for what I have done?"

"Of course not," she pulled back, tears glinting in her eyes. "And I'm sure no one here does. Right?" She looked around, her stare peremptory.

"Well…" Naveen spoke up, "I guess I now understand your preaching about honesty and pride… You could've chosen not to give yourself up, but you did, nevertheless. Hey, I now understand your calling yourself a goddamn sentimental romantic too! Haha, good description!" At the renewed gleam of Tiana's scolding eyes, he added, "But of course, it's all very noble. And as long as your little wife doesn't mind your being a traitor…"

"My wife…" Laurence muttered, his eyes suddenly distant, as though in soul he was no longer in the bayou, but far, far away. "Hey, that is it!"

"What?" Ray asked.

"Madam," Laurence turned to Mama Odie, "could you please transport me somehow to my own time, to Waterloo?"

The old woman scratched at her jaw. "Perhaps…"

Tiana gave the frog captain a confused look. "What are you plannin'?"

"Why, kissing my wife, of course! She is a real princess! A princess of China through our marriage!" Laurence replied, a so far unseen look of joy and hopefulness spreading on his face.

"O-o-o…" Ray sighed. "How romantic! If only Evangeline could hear this!"

"Well, could you help us, madam?" Laurence pressed.

"Hmm, I think I can," Mama Odie nodded. "Do you want to go alone, or take some of your new friends along?"

"Why, alone, of course," Laurence replied, "I would never risk their lives…"

"You've risked yours for me, more than once," Tiana said firmly. "I'm coming."

"Let me remind you that we are going to a battlefield!"

"I don't think it could be any more dangerous than falling from Charlotte's balcony or landing in the bayou. You ain't goin' without me, you hear me?"

"Nor without me," Ray insisted.

"May I go too and scare some of the… who's your enemy again?" Louis asked.

"The French, but I doubt if they would be much scared by an alligator," the captain replied. "They have dragons a hundred times your size."

"I'm sorry, but I can't magic everyone over to Waterloo," Mama Odie put an end to their argument. "I'm going to transport the three of you there, Tiana, Naveen and Laurence. Only you have been cursed, so only you need to be changed back. Once the princess kisses Laurence, Tiana and Naveen will be transported back here, along with that valet, Lawrence."

Ray made a sound of indignation at being left out of all the fun.

"Pray do not pout, Ray," Laurence said, "and give my regards to Evangeline."

oOo

_Waterloo, 18__th__ June, 1815_

Lawrence was sweating profusely. He had been tied to this wretched tree for hours, or for what felt like hours, and left there. No one cared for him any more, but as he watched the hustling and bustling of dragons and crews around, heard the roars of the beasts and the occasional shots of guns the soldiers fired for practice, he felt more alone and more frightened than ever before.

Lawrence had never been a happy and satisfied man. He had always had problems with his weight and his monkey-like ears, he had always envied Naveen for his good looks… He had always wanted more than he had and had hoped that blasted voodoo magician would do something to change his situation for the better, but he had been transported here instead, into the middle of a battlefield, where, even through closed eyelids, he could see the sun glinting on the tips of the dragons' razor sharp teeth.

"Cow!" someone yelled in the vicinity, and in the next moment a greyish dragon of about the size of a smallish elephant trotted up to him, licking its chops enthusiastically. "Funny cow, no udder! But still looks tasty!"

"I'm no cow!" Lawrence muttered and felt all the blood run from his face as the little dragon put its nose to his ears and sniffed.

The valet once again felt a trickle of something warm and unpleasant between his legs, and, too cowardly to look, squeezed his eyes shut. He would not watch as this horrible beast started to devour him!

"Volly, can't you see it's no cow just an ugly fat man?" someone shouted nearby, and a tiny ember of hope glowed in Lawrence's chest.

"O dear God, please, make him go," Lawrence muttered, "make him go, and I swear I'll never ask anything again, I'll never be dissatisfied with my lot again, and I'll be the best valet to Naveen in the world! I promise, just make him go awaaaaay!"

"Hey," someone poked him, and Lawrence was sure it was the vicious beast. "Hey, open your eyes, fellow!"

Whoever addressed him now, did not sound like a vicious beast. Lawrence slowly opened his eyes and was faced with a man in a bottle-green uniform and a funny hat with goggles. "Is… is he gone?" Lawrence whispered. "The beast?"

"Oh, you mean Volly? He's here, but he won't eat you. I'm Captain Langford James, by the way. And you?"

"L…Lawrence."

"Hah," the fellow grinned, "we've got a Laurence too, are you related to him?

"Heaven forbid," the valet moaned.

oOo

_A few miles away_

"Bad luck," Laurence muttered as he peered through the branches of a bush.

"What bad luck?" Tiana whispered.

"The elderly lady sent us to Waterloo, but to the wrong side. We are currently behind the French lines. We can reach the forces of the Seventh Coalition the quickest if we go across the enemy's infantry, cavalry and aerial corps. Which is a bit too much for a frog, if I might add. Look, Tiana, I cannot expect you to come with me, this is going to be extremely dangerous…"

"I've come so far, and a few soldiers won't scare me!" Tiana retorted.

"The soldiers might not, honey, but the dragons… those are a different thing," Naveen commented. "Just peer through the bush and see for yourself."

Tiana pushed a branch to the side to have a proper look and for a long moment forgot to breath. "Those are… real… big."

"Yes, that one particularly," Laurence said heavily, pointing at a huge white dragon. "Lien. Napoleon's personal pet."

"You've met this Lien already, I see," Naveen perceived.

"Just enough times to know she is dangerous. We must go around them somehow… on the skirts of the French forces. This is our only chance. Tiana, you may still decide to stay here. I shall not think any less of you if you do."

The female frog clasped the male's hand and squeezed it, her tiny green face showing more determination than Laurence had ever seen in a woman, perhaps with the exception of the Rolands. "I'm not afraid."

"You will be," Laurence replied. "Once we take a few steps and get into the midst of the army, you will be."

"Naveen's here with me, and so are you," she said plainly. "Besides, magic is on our side."

"Magic?" Laurence wavered. "I have never believed in magic, and you know, if I told anyone I had asked a voodoo priestess to help me return, the Church of England would surely excommunicate me. Magic might have sent me to New Orleans and then sent me back here, but it is not with me any longer, nor with you or with Prince Naveen… we are on our own now."

"Do you really think so?" Tiana breathed. "Well, I don't. Real magic ain't in a voodoo magician's fingertips, but here," she put her hand on Laurence's chest. "In your heart. In my heart. Even in Naveen's, although he's got no body."

"Hey, thanks, honey."

"You're welcome, dear," Tiana smiled in the voice's direction, then turned back to her frog companion. "I mean it, Laurence. What you told us about saving the dragons… well, that was something truly magical. You've got more magic in you than any voodoo priest or priestess, you only have to believe in it. Say, were you thinking of something… something in particular, when you got suddenly transported to New Orleans?"

"Well…" Laurence pursed his lips, deep in thought, "I think I was."

"What was it?"

The captain's green cheeks took on a pinkish hue. "I was just thinking… how nice it would be… to be able to openly love my wife. To not be ashamed and not feel the need to fear the opinion of others…"

"And? What do you think of it now?"

"I think… I was a fool," Laurence blushed even more. "When you and Naveen declared your love for each other even though you could not be sure you would ever be able to be together physically… and when Ray said he was happy with Evangeline, although he knew she would never be his for real… I saw that my wife had been right and I had been wrong."

"Then perhaps that's why you ended up in our time. So you could admit you were stupid and start over." Tiana once again squeezed his hand. "Say, what's the first thing you'll tell your wife once you meet her?"

"Er… 'kiss me, I'm Laurence'?"

"That's not what I meant," Tiana laughed, "although that'd be a nice start too… But really, what will you tell her?"

"That I have been an idiot and that I want to show the world how much I love her?" Laurence said a bit insecurely.

"Good answer!" Tiana clasped her hands. "Remember this, my friend, remember you've got to tell her this, and this will help you through the whole of the French army. Come on, Naveen, we've got a romantic confession to witness!" With that, she jumped out of the bush.

"Hey, Tiana, wait!" both males shouted in unison, and one of them jumped, the other one flew after her.

o

Private Jean Cruchot was bored. They had been loitering around the fields by the tiny town of Waterloo for three days, and still nothing happened. Besides, he was getting hungry. What he would have given for some nicely roasted frog legs!

"My imagination is playing tricks on me," he muttered (in French, of course), as he noticed a pair of frogs hopping across the camp. First his mouth went dry, then it started to water. Literally. "Frogs!" he squealed. "Two frogs! Delicious frogs!"

"What?" one of the frogs asked the other, although Cruchot did not understand it, for she was speaking English. _She?_ – he stiffened. Had he indeed heard her voice? And was it a female voice at all? Weren't frogs only supposed to croak, males and females in the same, unpleasant manner?

"He wants to eat us," came the reply, this time sounding like the voice of a male.

"Oh, that's bad," the female replied, but her voice was already getting quieter as they were both hopping away.

_Hopping away?_ – Cruchot froze. He couldn't let his lunch escape!

And the chase began.

In his eagerness to catch the frogs, Cruchot swung himself into a circle of officers nearby.

"What does this mean, private?" Lieutenant Pillet fumed.

"Frogs, sir! My lunch! And they're escaping!"

"FROGS?" the officers chorused. None of them had eaten anything as decent as frog legs for weeks.

Private Cruchot watched in disgust and disappointment as his commanding officers, risking life and limb, ran after the two unfortunate little frogs. He had lost his lunch, he admitted with a sigh, clutching at his pitifully rumbling stomach. It was not fair, just because he was only a private!

o

Tiana and Laurence jumped as quick as they could, gasping for breath and their tiny hearts beating frantically in their chests. They no longer watched where they ran, they no longer tried to stay on the skirts of the French army, they just ran and hopped and ran and hopped, slipping between the legs of artillery men, nearly getting flattened under the feet of a Flamme de Gloire, and barely escaping the hooves of none other than Bonaparte's steed.

"That was him," Laurence panted as they ran flat out.

"That was who?" Tiana panted back.

"Napoleon."

"I only saw those damn big hooves," she shot back.

"He looked really royal," Naveen commented from above their heads. "Perhaps not even as short as he was described in the books…"

"I'd be grateful if you stopped praising Napoleon, we're trying to stay alive down here, if you haven't noticed!" Tiana instinctively looked upwards, forgetting that she would not see her love anyway. That single second of not paying attention to the soil under her feet, however, caused her to trip over a low branch of a blueberry bush.

For a few seconds Laurence did not even notice that she was no longer by his side and kept running away.

"Yum-yum," someone said just above her head. It was French talk, but Tiana understood it just well enough, especially when a firm hand closed around her waist.

"Laureeeence!" she yelled, and the owner of the firm hand nearly dropped her in surprise.

"What is this? A talking frog?" the man muttered, but this time Tiana could only vaguely guess the meaning of those words, for she did not speak French at all.

"Yes, a talking frog, actually, a frog deity," someone spoke up from above. She still did not understand the words, as they were still in French, but the voice was so very familiar…

_Naveen!_ she realised._ Of course! He, as a prince, must have learned to speak French! _

"A frog… deity?" the French soldier mumbled.

"Yes, a frog goddess, and she will curse you if you don't release her this instant!" Naveen carried on in as majestic a voice as he could muster. Whatever he had said, must have scared the soldier, for his grip around Tiana's body slackened. That was when the returning Laurence hopped onto a branch of the neighbouring bush, and from there, onto the French soldier's arm.

"Let her go this instant, or we both shall curse you!" he shouted at the man, also in French, although Tiana thought his French was not nearly as sophisticated as Naveen's.

"So, what are you waiting for?" Laurence elegantly stepped onto the man's wrist, his arms akimbo. Even in his frog form, he looked intimidating.

Apparently this had been too much for the unfortunate soldier, who let go of Tiana with a scream.

Before she knew what was happening to her, Laurence had grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her across the field again, zigzagging between the feet of humans, horses and dragons alike. Tiana had long lost track of time, she only knew that her heart was pounding madly, her reflexes were tested to the limits and that she had probably made a mistake in deciding to cross the battlefield with Laurence. But she would never admit that – if she survived, then it was not worth admitting how utterly scared she had been, and if she did not, then she would have no chance to admit it anyway.

With such thoughts in mind, she was more than shocked when Laurence suddenly came to a halt and stopped her too.

"We have made it," he panted. "We are in the camp of the Seventh Coalition! Look, those are Prussians over there! That is General von Blücher!"

"You mean… we're safe?" Tiana breathed, her tiny green hands pressed on her madly racing heart.

"Yeah, unless you get flattened under the feet of the Anglo-allied soldiers, their horses or their dragons," Naveen commented, "so if I were in your place, I'd keep running until you find Mrs. Laurence."

"But where will we find her? There are thousands of people here!" Tiana said.

"Come, we have to climb," Laurence pointed at a nearby tree.

"Climb, after such a run?!" Tiana grunted. Her muscles were just adequate for balancing several trays packed with beignets at the same time, but not for racing across a battlefield and _then_ climbing a tree!

"Let me help," the captain gently encircled her waist and with an almighty effort jumped upon the lowest branch, then from there to the next above, then the next and the next until they reached the top of the tree, having an excellent view of the fields around. "That is my Temeraire," he pointed at a large black dragon only about two hundred yards to the east. "That is where we shall find my wife. Or at least I hope so. You can stay here if you like, I see you are quite shaken, and you would be safe here."

"If I've come so far, you can't stop me from going further!" she replied testily.

"Wow, a really stubborn lady I've got for myself, eh?" Naveen chuckled.

"You have no idea just how stubborn I can be," she shot back. "Come on, Laurence, I wanna meet your wife and dragon!"

"As you wish," Laurence sighed, "let us descend, then."

And they did.

The Prussians thankfully paid them no attention, as apparently they were not keen on roasted frog legs, not to mention that the Prussian military discipline had always by far surpassed that of the French. Prussians would never be caught chasing frogs when there was a battle to give.

By the time they reached the imaginary dividing line between the Prussian and the British forces, Tiana's energies had completely evaporated and she practically collapsed behind a smaller rock.

"Enough of the wait, let's kills some frogs at last!" someone shouted nearby, and the blood froze in Tiana's veins.

"Not again," she moaned, too exhausted to even open her eyes. "I can't run any more… Laurence, leave me here…"

"Oh, you mean that cry?" Laurence laughed.

Tiana opened one of her eyes, surprised that she could. "These people still wanna kill us, and you're laughin'?"

"No one here wants to kill us, they were not talking about us, but the French," he replied. "The 'frogs' is our nickname for the French. And by the way, the one who shouted was one of my men, second Lieutenant Allen. We're standing right by Temeraire's legs, look!"

And Tiana looked up. And up. And up. And she once again felt she was going to faint.

The dragon was enormous. They might have passed bigger ones among the French forces, but she hadn't given herself time to observe those from her frog prospective, and now sizing up Temeraire felt like the biggest shock of her life.

"I would suggest you stay here behind the rock, but it is not exactly safe, anyone could step on you by mistake," Laurence said, "so please, gather your strength and let us climb the harness."

"You mean… onto his back?" the girl gasped. "No way! I'm not climbing this mammoth!"

"Honey, if I didn't know you better, I would say you've chickened out," Naveen chimed in.

"One, I haven't chickened out, and two, you don't even know me properly, Naveen!" Tiana snapped. "We've known each other for… four hours? Five at most?"

"Five hours and ninety-seven years, dearest, only counted backwards," the prince replied. "And I hope we can spend together just as much time in the future, or almost."

Tiana's lips involuntarily tucked into a smile. "You said that real beautiful, Naveen… Oh, all right, let's climb your dragon, Laurence. But _you_ gotta talk to him first!"

"Of course _I_ will," the captain replied. "But I think I will talk to my wife first. Do you see her? That sandy-haired woman up there?"

"She's a little high up, but looks pretty," Tiana said, slightly surprised.

"That's her?" Naveen gasped. "But that girl is Tiana's age!"

Laurence blushed slightly. "Yes, I know. And?"

"Er… nothing," Tiana giggled. "Lead the way up the harness, Captain Laurence."

o

Emily longed to be at battle at last, to be able to do something – anything – than to sit around here and wait for Wellesley's signal of attack! Her fingers were itching to pull the trigger of her favourite pistol, the one that she was gently polishing in her lap. This particular movement reminded her of something entirely different, and though she managed to fight back a blush, she was sure her husband would not be able to if she only mentioned to him her current thoughts. But he was not around to hear anything she might have mentioned, she reminded herself. Where could he be? What could have happened to him? For the umpteenth time that day she felt an urge to punch that fat man in the face for claiming to be Laurence. Preferably so badly that he would lose some of his front teeth. Not that it could make him look any worse…

As she was so immersed in thoughts about her lost husband and her held-back urges to vent her frustration on the ugly impostor, a pair of frogs jumped on the harness right before her. She instinctively levelled her pistol at them, but when the larger of the two spoke, she nearly dropped the gun in shock. And Emily Roland was normally not the type of girl to drop things when frightened. Well, she was not even the type of girl to get frightened at all.

What shocked her even more than the fact that the frog spoke was the fact that his voice – or its voice? Did frogs have genders at all? – sounded exactly like her lost husband's. However, what shocked her most were those few words the frog said, "Emily, it is me, Laurence!"

"Huh?" was all she managed to reply. The last time she had been really surprised had been eight years earlier when she had accidentally found out that her captain had been shagging her mother. Well, in comparison to this, that piece of information had seemed insignificant and not even nearly unbelievable.

"Emily, it is me, your husband! An evil magician has turned me into a frog and Miss Tiana too. This is her," he pointed at the other frog next to him.

"And me too!" came a voice from nowhere. "I mean, he didn't transform me into a frog, but he deprived me of my gorgeous body and even kidnapped my valet, Lawrence!"

"Your valet, Laurence?" Emily muttered, not even fully realising that she was talking to an invisible person. As the truth dawned on her, she decided that perhaps Temeraire had been right in worrying about her health. Perhaps she really should not have volunteered to take part in this battle at all…

"Yes, my valet!" snapped the voice of the invisible person. "Have you seen him anywhere?"

"But Laurence isn't even a valet, he's a captain," Emily shook her head, deciding that she was hallucinating. This whole madness was _not_ happening to her! Perhaps only her body was playing tricks on her mind. Such things were possible at times like these, her mother had once said so.

"Yes, and he is me," the bigger frog said once more. "Listen, Emily, you have to kiss me, only that can break the curse and change all of us back!"

"Yeah, like in Grimm's fairy tales," the feminine looking frog added. "Please, Mrs. Laurence, do it!"

"Shhh! Are you mad? It's a secret!" Emily pressed her index finger on her lips and looked around suspiciously to see if anyone – besides the crew – had heard how the little frog had addressed her. "I'm officially Miss Roland!"

"Hey, what is this jabbering back there?" Temeraire craned his neck as much as he could to look at the scene taking place on his back. The smaller frog's legs began to tremble in the crossfire of those dark blue dragon eyes.

The male frog, however, paid no attention to his partner's discomfort and addressed the dragon, opening his short green arms towards the enormous head, "Temeraire, it is me, Laurence." His whole body was smaller than any of Temeraire's teeth, but he did not seem afraid at all.

"You've got his voice, that is true, but my captain is not a frog," Temeraire replied.

"Normally I am not, but I have been cursed! Magically transformed!"

"But… there is no such thing as magic," the dragon said, albeit somewhat insecurely.

"Of course there isn't!" Emily snapped, then suddenly stiffened. "Temeraire… do you see them too? The frogs?"

"Of course I do," Temeraire nodded.

Emily gulped. If Temeraire saw the frogs too, then they could not be _her_ hallucinations… could they?

"Why, I see them too," Lieutenant Allen walked up to them from behind and bent over Emily's sitting form to have a look at the tiny amphibians. "Have I heard it correctly that the male claimed he was our captain?"

"I am, Allen," the bigger frog replied.

"Hey, he knows my name! He must be the captain for real!"

"He knew my name too," Temeraire added a little more confidently.

"Everyone in the French army knows your name thanks to Lien, Temeraire," Emily reminded him.

"Are you suggesting these are spy frogs?" came Captain Granby's voice from the back of the adjacent Iskierka.

"Spy frogs?" midwingman Sipho dissolved into laughter. "That's the joke of the century!"

"Then pray, test me! Spies are taught essentials things about those they need to spy after, but not even they can know the most personal things, and I do know very personal things about all of you!" the male frog said with his arms akimbo. He looked so very strict and determined that Emily nearly burst out laughing.

"Personal things? What very personal things are you thinking of?" Iskierka stuck her head closer, making the smaller, feminine looking frog quite visibly gulp and blanch.

"Like…" the male frog scratched his jaw, casting around for ideas, "like…" he turned in Granby's direction, "John, I asked you if you wanted to be my first lieutenant in perfect secrecy, giving you a chance to decline the offer without losing face."

"That he could have told anyone… later," Emily said firmly.

"I would never have done such a thing!" Granby protested. "I kept the secret, Laurence, I did!"

The male frog gave Emily a triumphant look – apparently he had managed to convince Granby of the truthfulness of his words. Then he turned to Temeraire. "My dear, the first time I told you anything nice was weeks after your hatching, right after you saved a sailor who had fallen overboard. No one was there when I told you how well you had done, but you seemed surprised. And I felt so very embarrassed for my earlier coldness towards you..."

Temeraire's ruff flattened to his neck and he looked touched by the memory. "I was indeed surprised, Laurence, because I had thought that was how things were supposed to be: that dragons should never receive praise from their handlers. But that storm and our rescue of Gordon changed everything. You truly became my captain and I finally truly could afford to show how much I loved you."

Now the frog's mouth twitched as though he were fighting to keep his emotions under control. "I love you too, my dear. So much. Does… does this mean you believe me?"

"I do, dear Laurence. But I preferred you as a human."

The female frog and the owner of the invisible voice chuckled, and so did Allen and Granby.

"So… that leaves me as the only sceptic, eh?" Emily crossed her arms. Her heart longed to believe that it was all true, that this tiny creature before her was her husband and she could transform him back by a single kiss, but her over-rational Roland-mind did not allow that. Temeraire and Granby could be hopeless romantic fools, but she had never been. She had always been as tough and practical as her mother. She could not possibly believe such an incredible, idiotic story?

"Well, my love…" the frog began, but Emily held out a hand to stop him.

"Do not call me your love as long as I cannot be sure… but… how _could_ I be sure?" she sighed, wringing her hands. She was well aware that Temeraire's whole crew and possibly the whole of Iskierka's crew were watching the scene. Could she make a complete fool of herself before all these men? She would gladly do it if she were only sure she was talking to her Will, but… "All right, then, Mr. Frog. You said you wanted to be tested through very personal questions. Then do tell, what is Laurence's favourite position in bed?"

"Well…" the frog flushed as deeply as only her husband could and said in a hushed voice, "the horsy position. You riding me."

"Hey, what did he say?" a midwingman from Iskierka's crew shouted. "We haven't heard a thing!"

"He said it was the horsy position, he at the bottom, Emily on top!" Sipho shouted back. "Er… sorry, captain," he added a few seconds later, seeing the male frog hide his face in his palms, "but sooner or later everyone would have found out anyway."

"Thank you, Sipho," Emily said testily, but her heart was excitedly jumping in her chest. She had never told anyone about her love life, so perhaps the frog had been just lucky to guess it, or… "One more test," she said. She had to be absolutely sure. "What is _my_ favourite position in bed?"

The frog moaned, then a long moment of silence ensued. There could be a battle about to start any second, there could be hundreds of dragons and thousands of soldiers bustling around, in Temeraire's vicinity such was the silence that Emily was sure they could have heard a pin drop. Still not removing his hands from his face, peering through his fingers, the male frog said, "The doggy one. Or as we, aviators call it, the dragon-pose."

The silence was broken by Allen's gasp, "You mean, from behind?"

"Wow, Laurence, Emily, I never knew," Temeraire guffawed.

As though Temeraire's laughter had been an invitation for open display of mirth, everyone around began to laugh, Temeraire and Iskiera being the loudest of all. At that moment Emily's eyes met a pair of peremptory but somewhat confused ones in the crowd – those ones belonged to the Duke of Wellington. Apparently his grace could not make anything of this curious pre-battle behaviour.

The voice of the invisible man spoke up, "If I had a hand now, I'd slap you on the back, Laurence. My heartfelt apologies for calling you an invert… I see now you're a real ladies' man."

"He's not a ladies' man, he's only _my _man," Emily said somewhat sharply.

"You mean… you finally believe it is me?" Laurence said, his ugly bulging eyes bulging even more in hope.

"Yeah, I do," Emily smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed. "And tell you what… it wasn't even your replies to my questions that convinced me… but your blush. No one can blush as cutely as you can, Will, dearest…" With that she lifted the little frog to her lips.

"Wait!" the female frog shouted, making Emily nearly drop her amphibian husband.

"What?" asked Laurence from Emily's palm.

The female frog sent him an impish grin. "You promised to make your wife a little confession. I want to hear that before she kisses you, or I might never hear it."

"Yeah, that one I'm quite curious about too," the invisible man's voice added.

"What confession?" Emily arched an eyebrow at her husband.

Laurence blushed even more and said, "You know, my love, I think I know why I was magically transported to Tiana's world. I think that magic had a mind of its own. It knew I needed to be there, to see things… things that changed my views on… certain other things."

The frog lady motioned him to carry on with a wide grin, and Emily got more and more curious what her husband wanted to tell her. "Certain other things?"

"Yes," Laurence said, straightening his back. "In Tiana's world I realised what a fool I had been about wanting to keep our love and marriage a secret. I have come to realise that we must use every moment together and enjoy it, openly, without shame."

"Oh, finally," Granby rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd never come to your senses, old friend."

Emily too felt like rolling her eyes and saying something sarcastic, but she found she could not. She was too touched for sarcasm, not to mention that it is not easy rolling your eyes when they are filled with tears. So she did the only thing she found worth doing.

"I love you, my dear, silly frog," she said, and kissed her husband's ugly green lips.

oOo

**A/N: not over yet! One more chapter coming up!**

**Reviews would be much appreciated. :)**


	4. Stop Blushing, For Heaven's Sake!

**A/N: thanks to T2238 for the review on the previous chapter! Here's the final one.**

**Chapter 4**

**Stop Blushing, For Heaven's Sake!**

Laurence did not know how long they had kissed, he only knew that after the first second of being kissed by Emily the quality of the kiss changed somehow. A tiny part of his mind wondered if that was due to the fact that he was human again, but he decided not to dwell on it, only to let himself enjoy the kiss. And enjoy it he did. Emily had always been a wonderful kisser, but compared to Charlotte La Bouff, her kissing skills now seemed even more excellent.

Somewhere on the edge of his conscious Laurence heard cheering voices, some sounded like Granby's, some like Allen's, some like Sipho's, but all were overshadowed by the almighty 'awwww' coming from two directions – Laurence suspected these must have been Temeraire and Iskierka's murmurs of approval.

Finally, when he felt he was completely out of breath, he gently pulled back and squinted at his wife whose cheeks were delicately rosy from the fervour of the kiss. She looked the epitome of innocence, although Laurence knew from experience that she could be as far from innocent as possible. And unfortunately, he reminded himself, now dozens of people around knew that. He was well aware that for most the 'missionary' was the only acceptable form for intimacy between a man and a woman, but the Rolands had both been unconventional in their way of dealing with things, and their sexual taste was no exception to this rule.

Laurence decided to chase these disconcerting thoughts from his mind. He would have to deal with them later, but for the time being the prospect of fighting in a battle that would finally put an end to Napoleon's terror was his primary concern. Or at least he knew it _should have been_ the first thing on his mind, but he could not help it – holding his wife in his arms was currently much more exciting than the idea of seeing Bonaparte completely routed.

"I am back," he muttered to Emily, his voice barely a whisper.

"Thank God," Emily whispered back as she opened her eyes and gave him the most radiant smile ever. "Honestly, I don't know what I would have done with a frog for a husband…"

"Well, one thing you surely could not have done with him," Laurence said, feeling his cheeks burn.

Emily burst out laughing and bore her face into his shoulder. Holding her firmly in his arms, Laurence looked around, but he could not see Tiana anywhere. _I hope she has safely returned home with her prince and his valet,_ he thought fondly.

After a minute of shaking with laughter, Emily drew back and cleared her throat. "Well, we already know you were turned into a frog, but do tell, where on earth have you been all this time?"

"I was at a wonderful place where alligators play music and ball dresses have no sleeves," he replied plainly.

"What? No sleeves?" she raised an eyebrow at him as though hearing of the existence of such dresses was much more incredible than hearing about musician reptiles.

"I shall tell you later," he grinned at her, and secretly hoped she would not get angry with him once she found out that he had been kissed by both Tiana and Charlotte. But at least Charlotte's kisses had been terrible enough to make sure Emily would not be jealous of them.

"Can't you start it now?" she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Yes, Laurence, could you not start it now? I am curious too," Temeraire commented. However, at that moment trumpets blared, signalling the start of the battle.

"At last!" Iskierka roared. "We get to kill some frogs!"

Laurence and Emily looked at each other and neither could hold back their laughter.

"Calm down, will you?" Granby shouted at his Kazilik. "Calm down, and follow the orders transmitted from the flag dragon! No fooling around, no solitary missions, only obedience, you hear me?!"

"Yes, yes, I have heard you perfectly well," Iskierka grunted, "but you will not take away my enthusiasm no matter how hard you try! We shall smash Napoleon this time! I know!"

"Well," Laurence muttered, half to Temeraire, half to Emily, "actually, we shall. _I_ know."

oOo

_The garden of the La Bouff residence, New Orleans, 1912_

"I must admit, you look much better in real life than in the newspapers," were Tiana's first words to Naveen once they materialised in their own time, in their own city.

"And I must admit you look much better as a girl than as a frog," he replied with a wide grin. "Actually, you look even better now, changed back to a girl than before you had been changed into a frog."

"Oh, really?" she raised an eyebrow at him. "And why is that?"

"Because my love for you makes you even more beautiful in my eyes," he replied, pulling her to himself. Before their lips could touch, however, a third person materialised next to them and flung himself at Naveen.

"Oh, my master, my dear, beloved master, we are back to normal! Oh, thank heaven, my prayers have been listened to! Oh, master, I shall never, never abandon you again, I shall never wish for more than what I have, I shall serve you as your most faithful, most devoted servant…"

"Okay, Lawrence," Naveen said awkwardly and peeled the short man's arms off his waist. "I am glad to have you back."

"Glad to have me back! Oh, my wonderful, precious master, how generous and kind-hearted you are…!"

"Lawrence, you are dismissed for today," Naveen said, slightly miffed by the mirth glinting in Tiana's eyes.

"Are you sure you do not need anything, my master? A cup of tea? A foot massage?"

"No, Lawrence, nothing," the prince rolled his eyes, "just go back to the hotel, please. We'll meet in the morning."

Lawrence bowed so deep that he nearly toppled over, and as he left, his legs were still very visibly shaking.

"I wonder what got into the poor guy," Naveen shook his head.

"If he had ended up at Waterloo like we did, I expect he must've been just as frightened by the dragons as I was," Tiana shrugged. "But I don't mind. Looking back, it was a cool adventure. And we even met Napoleon!"

"A cool adventure, yes, but you have no idea what seeing you in danger all the time did to me," he sighed. "I've always craved for adventure, Tiana, I've always considered my life boring, but… I wouldn't mind abandoning adventures for a while… and settling down. With you."

"That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard," she sighed and pulled his head down for a kiss. "Mmm… much better than doing it with a frog…"

"I can imagine that," Naveen chuckled and repeated the kiss. "But I'm sure old Laurence couldn't be that bad a kisser in his human form as he was in frog form… Why, he seemed quite knowledgeable about the intimate side of life…"

"Yeah," Tiana giggled too, bending her head on his shoulder. "Funny that, to be so familiar with stuff like that, even do it regularly but blush like mad when having to talk about it…"

"Yeah, he was a funny guy, that Laurence."

"He was," she nodded, and her lips quivered for a second. "Do you realise that he's been long dead by now?"

"Yes... But I hope he had a chance to live a long and happy life with that pretty little wife of his. Although, of course, he had to survive Waterloo for that."

Tiana drew back with a grimace. "I seriously hope he did, that they both did. And Temeraire too, he was a bit scary, but funny too… By the way, did you see Laurence in his human form?"

"Just for a second before I got sucked into this tunnel thingie and transported back here," Naveen shrugged.

"Yeah, me too… but that one second confirmed that he'd told the truth. He was indeed extremely good-looking."

Naveen crossed his arms and gave her a hurt look. "Are you implying that I'm not?"

"Oh, rest assured, you are," she stood on her tiptoes to give him a short peck on the lips. "You are and will always be my only prince."

oOo

_Waterloo, 18__th__ June, 1815_

All of them were dirty, sweaty and bloody – in some cases it was their own blood, in some cases someone else's. Their hearts were filled with joy over having finally defeated Napoleon, and sadness over the lives lost in the battle.

Young Allen had died trying to prevent a boarding attempt by the crew of a Grand Chevalier, and several others of Temeraire's crew were nursing more or less serious wounds.

"He died a hero, you know," Emily told her husband, putting an arm around his shoulder.

"I know," Laurence heaved a deep sigh, dabbing at his injured temple with a blood-soaked handkerchief. "I only hope the others survive."

"They will," said Dorset, stepping to them, his hands painted scarlet with the patients' blood. "Temeraire only got a few scratches, I will patch him up once I'm finished with all your crewmembers. Sipho will very likely limp for a while and Jones will need weeks before he is allowed to leave the sickbed, but I am hopeful that we won't lose anyone else from your crew, Captain."

"Thank you, Mr. Dorset," Laurence nodded to the dragon surgeon just as a Longwing descended right next to Temeraire.

"You look a fright, Laurence," Admiral Roland said as she hopped down from her dragon's back. "Dorset, you had better attend to his temple as soon as you can."

"I shall, Admiral, but I've got patients with more serious wounds," the doctor replied.

"It is nothing, Jane, really," Laurence shook his head, then hastily added, "I mean, it is nothing, _Admiral_."

"Oh, come on, Laurence," Jane waved her hand, "everyone knows of the nature of our earlier relationship, so no need for pretence. Especially after I have seen you kissing my daughter…"

Laurence flushed ruby red and ran a hand across his hair, smearing the blood on his temple even more without noticing. "I… I can explain it, Jane. We had a perfectly good reason… for kissing."

"Yes, to turn the frog prince back into Laurence," Iskierka chimed in from the left.

"The _what_?" Jane's eyes widened.

Laurence groaned, knowing that the practical Jane Roland would never believe a story involving frog princes and magical kisses. "Jane… we just… well… we love each other, and…"

"We are married," Emily finished the sentence.

Jane sent them both a lopsided grin. "Hah, did you really think I didn't know? I just wanted to see you sweat."

"You knew?" Laurence gasped. "But… but… it was a perfectly secret wedding!"

Jane's grin widened even more. "I'm an admiral, Laurence. It is my task to know about my subordinates' deeds… or misdeeds."

Laurence felt himself blush again and Jane laughed heartily. "Do not worry, dear fellow, I do not consider this as a misdeed. Actually… I believe my daughter couldn't have found a better man."

"Or a better frog," Sipho said.

Emily sent the midwingman a chiding glance.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, stop blushing," Jane slapped Laurence on the back, "and make sure my first grandchild is a girl!"

"I think it is a little too early to talk about grandchildren…" Laurence said, more to his own Hessian boots than to Admiral Roland.

"Yeah… about six and a half months early," Emily added casually.

"What?" gasped her mother.

"WHAT?" gasped Laurence.

Emily gently elbowed her husband in the ribs. "Do you remember our last night on the _Allegiance_, dearest?"

Laurence's blush deepened even more, if such a thing was possible. "Er… yes, I believe I do."

"It was... three times? Or four?" Emily grinned.

"Er… four, I believe," her husband muttered.

Someone whistled, probably in admiration, while someone else whinnied – or was that a horse? Laurence did not know, all he knew was that he had never felt this embarrassed before.

And that was when he realised that embarrassment was not the only thing he felt – it was surprise and desperation as well, mingling with some unfamiliar warmth and anticipation. "But… but… Emily… we have always been so careful!"

"Apparently not careful enough," she shrugged. "Aren't you happy at all?"

"Of course I am, but… how _could you come and fight when you knew you were expecting_?" Laurence burst out, and was sure that his complexion was no longer red with shame but with anger.

"Will, dearest," Emily sighed, "you couldn't expect me to sit at Dover and wait for everyone else to fight! I couldn't let our child grow up in a world ruled by Napoleon! Everyone's contribution to the victory was invaluable, mine too. I had to do it. For Britain, and for our child." She sent him a hopeful little smile. "Are you still angry?"

Laurence took a deep, calming breath. "Honestly, I do not think I could ever stay angry with you longer than five minutes…"

"Glad to hear it," Emily smirked and tugged at his neckcloth to press her lips to his.

The renewed sighs and 'awww's were interrupted by Sipho's voice, "Emily, do you _really _like the doggy position most?"

**THE END**

**A/N: grace me with a final review, please! :)**


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